The Middle

I know what you are thinking, strange title, whats wrong with him, is he drunk, heat stroked or maybe hes just started taking the malaria medication a little early! Well you are all wrong its an appropriate title for the mail I'm sending as it sums up pretty well where I am heading and where I have been recently!

Since my last mail (he says quickly reading over it to see when it was and what I had done!!) I have been a busy boy! Spent my christmas with friends in Sydney and had such a good day, really was expecting christmas away from home to be a strange affair with a lot of people I didn't know very well. However it was a great day spent with some old and new acquaintances. The great aussie tradition of the bbq was upheld, however not on the beach..sorry to disappoint! And yes Shrimps were attending in abundance. I do have pictorial proof for any doubing thomases out there!

Next up came New Years Eve or NYE as all the posters were advertising it...what is it with Australians and there need to shorten or abbreviate everything? How best to sum up my NYE... Two words will do it, big and loud. Bearing in mind you are already surrounded by the awesome scenery of the Opera House and Harbour Bridge you don't really need to do much else. However adding 1 million people really adds a certain something to the whole atmosphere and I'm not just talking about the smell from the portaloos!

Drinking on the streets in Australia isn't really tolerated believe it or not but it appears an exception was made and vast amounts of alcohol must have been consumed if you take into account the empties, vomit and massive queues even for the mens toilets, which is virtually unheard of! So anyway come midnight and the fireworks were good, almost bordering on spectacular however lacked a certain je ne sai qua, as they went for volume over style in typical brash Aussie style! The bonfire night fireworks I saw in Wellington were better for my money (and I paid nothing for both displays so I can say that with some authority).

The fireworks finished and then came a truly memorable moment, one I will never forget. Watching pretty much all 1 million people stand up and walk away from the harbour up George Street, like a scene from a disaster movie. It was amazing to watch the sudden mass exodus away from Circular Quay as people desperately tried to be the first to catch a bus or get a train home. And as I have been Aussie bashing a bit (its the way Aussies show affection) I think its only fair to do a bit of Brit bashing. As normal the drunkenest, lairiest and scariest people were all Brits. It actually made me feel quite unsettled at one point, the number of unpredictable drunk brits swaying around puking and reaching for anyone of the opposite gender to kiss was pretty horrifying, felt like a scene from any zombie film you care to mention, but perhaps with less visible motor skills!

New Years day also deserves a special mention as it was around 45 degrees with an oven hot wind blowing all day, truly nasty! Thank god for aircon!

Next stop Melbourne... A beautiful city, far nicer than Sydney in so many ways, smaller, friendlier, greener, and just nicer full stop! Definitely my favourite city in Australia. Well as long as I don't think about my hostel for the first night, truly redefines the meaning of sh!thole. Had so little going for it, next to a train line, dirty, grimy, dark and cramped with tiles falling off the bathroom walls. Had a free shuttle running to it from the bus terminal though so was crammed with backpackers so met some cool people there!

At this point big thanks have to go to Shelley and Justin who looked after me so well and put me up in their beautiful house for the rest of my stay and taught me Skip-Bo. THANK YOU! Hope to see you both in September. After some sight seeing and plenty of tasty icecream (try Cold Rock Ice creamery if you are ever in Australia its the best!), attacked by the wildlife (truly worried I had rabies for a bit!) and being stood up by penguins it was time to head on to my next tour, a 10 day trip from Melbourne to Alice Springs via Uluru.

Great Ocean Road is fun with some awesome scenery, if you like limesone fomations which our guide seemed to love with an unholy passion, every 5 minutes it was get off the bus its some more bits of old rock! I jest of course it was beautiful, managed to splurge the 60 dollars on a helicopter flight over the 12 (well several less now) Apostles, one of my real highlights of this part of the trip. Also fun was the Otway Flyer, a suspended metal footbridge and tower amongst the trees some 33m up at its highest, the best bit was seeing the look on peoples faces as you rocked the footpaths...priceless!

Got my comeupance however with a walk up Hollow Mountain when I genuinely thought I was going to die as we had to clamber up and over smooth rocks with a hundred foot drop just a few feet away. It was ok though as our tiny guide Zoe said she would catch us, I felt so relieved! Funnily enough the Koreans loved it and got as close to the edge as possible to get their photos taken pretty much dangling over the edge, I had to turn around at this point as did several others! Don't know about you but it would sour a nice trip to watch someone plunge to their deaths.

Reached Adelaide and it can be summed up with one word...dull! I need say no more. The highlight was having to evacuate our hostel at 3am due to a fire (which turned out to be a burned out lightbulb!). Oh and meeting some real Aussie yobbos on the beach, blue singlets and all, drinking a mix of goon and hahn lager out of Mcdonalds cups. Nice!

The onto the next section of our tour, the red centre. Will try to keep it short as I know I have waffled on for quite a bit already. Key impressions and thoughts then...

Most abiding memory of the entire trip is the flies. I think I now know every fly in Oz personally as they are a friendly bunch and just want to say hello and invite you to meet the relatives or maybe just stamp their crap covered feet all over you for a bit. Its amazing how quickly you get used to flies crawling into your eyes, nose and mouth.

Heat, even on an air conditioned bus you will sweat and profusely at that. As soon as you get off the bus its a million times worse and you are eternally grateful when anywhere you are staying has a pool, even if the water is luke warm! I think its probably the only place in the world where the water is hotter from the cold tap! Coober Pedy (meaning burrowing white folk) is also worth a mention as the majority of the population live underground in burrows to escape the heat. A fun first for me.

Space, I thought Norfolk was flat and empty but the Outback really does make it feel like a small village hall on fete day. The sense of space is phenomenal and its hard not to feel depressed at the constant monotany of seeing the same scenery whiz past you day after day. Having said that however its an amazingly beaufiful sight when the sky is full of clouds and the amount of stars you see is breathtaking. Still I can't imagine what it must be like to drive across the country, it got to mess with your mind something cronic.

Red, I didn't really appreciate how red the Red Centre was until I got there, yes Uluru looks orange but the soil in some places is almost scarlet, its so strong that the underside of the clouds take on a pink hue form the reflected colour.

Uluru, Yeah its ok I guess, but its just a big rock really and not that exciting. The Olgas are far more interesting and make a far more satisfying visit, make sure you don't miss them. It was so awesome that I had a real moment on the way round when I realised why the aboriginals thought it was such a holy place. Was going to climb Uluru (its against the Aboriginals wishes but they can't stop you) but had an guilt trip laid on my by the visitor centre so decided not to out of respect. Then in the night we got raided by a group of them trying to break into our bus to find booze at 3am. Well sod respect I thought I'm off to do a tap dance on Uluru. My cunning plan was foiled with it being too hot and too windy to climb though. Next time Uluru...next time! Just you watch your back, I know where you live.

Final impression was just how many wonderful beautifoool crazy people I met on this trip, hey you know who you are, I need mention no names (well maybe just cgg & ccc!). Suffice to say I love you all and it was great to meet you! You are all welcome to visit me when I get home, just not at the same time, it might get a tad crowded.

So to the dual reason for the mail title...Its my 6 month anniversary! Six whole months on the road and I'm not bored yet, still more than happy living out of a small bag and washing my socks and pants in the sink, although someone stole my travel plug (grr) and my shoes and travel towel are begining to stink to high heaven! Its got me feeling a bit retrospective and looking back over my travels so far and all the adventures I have had, I can't believe all the crazy things I have done and great people I have met on the way. Everyone has been so special and I hope to keep in regular contact with you all.

So having said that I have 5 days to go before flying to South America and am feeling a little apprehensive about the next 6 months, as its going to be a really different experience to all those that have gone before (or perhaps I am just thinking about it too much!).

A few strange facts I have accumulated...

Animal fact number one, Kolalas have very interesting reproductive systems, I don't want to say more as it will ruin the suprise, go look it up, its worth it! I'm also pretty sure that Koalas are extinct and all the ones you see are stuffed and have been planted by the government to spy on the tourists. I have never seen a Koala in the wild move, never, they just hang there in the tree.

Number two. Not sure if its just me but I didn't see a single snake, scorpion or anything particularly hazardous to my health (bar a hungry possum). For a country jam packed with dangerous creatures they aren't half hard to see! I'm a bit disappointed (will probably leave the internet cafe in a minute and get struck down by a herd of angry redbacks to make up for it)

Number three. The Giant squid has eyes as big as dinner plates and the emus brain is the same size as its eye, pretty dumb animals, they will run infront of a car if they get startled and won't stop til they keel over dead from exhaustion! And thats the Emus not the Squids.

Four. Camel and Emu taste ok, Kangaroo is good but has a slight livery taste to it. And green ants bums are yummy! Didn't try any grubs, woms or bugs unfortunately so can't report on them. And as a general rule bush tucker tastes disgusting, but hey it will keep you alive!

Five, there is a fly plague in Victoria this year, with something like 80% more flies than last year. I pity the poor scientist whos job it was to work it out. Actually anyone with any thoughts how they now how many more flies there are please let me know, it baffles me!

Final fact, the grass tree has an interesting defence mechanism for when its set on fire, to protect itself it explodes! Seems a tad self defeating to me but apparently it works, and hey its been around for millions of years longer than humans so it must know what its doing!